How to Influence your Child's learning

When it comes to teaching kids, prep and kindergarten teachers know which children will be easy to teach and which children will be difficult to teach because they will struggle to learn.

It has nothing to do with how intelligent a child is, or whether they know how to write their names. If a child's appears ready to learn, eager to try new things, willing to be taught, chances are that he or she will have a good year, a year in which they learn all they capable of learning.

How do teachers know this?

Almost as soon as a child enters a classroom the teacher is noticing how he or she reacts to the new environment. Is the child curious? Does he look round the room to see what it contains? Is she confident enough to leave her mother's side? Does he try to get on with the other children in the room or does he ignore them and do what he wants to do? Does she know how to sit in a group, or is she not ready to be part of the class? Is he tired and grumpy, or rested and happy to be there?

These are the signs a teacher looks for. These are the signs that let the teacher know whether the child is ready to learn.


When a child is ready to learn the teacher can start teaching the things he or she needs to learn. Things like reading and writing, counting, colors, days of the week and months of the year. All the basic things children need to start to understand. But if a child is not ready to learn the teacher has to spend time helping the child be ready. She has to help him or her learn how to listen, sit in a group, share, take turns and respond to questions. This is can be hard work, especially when the teacher has many children in the class. Most teachers are very good at doing this, but it takes time away from teaching other things, it slows down a child's learning.

It is important for children to be ready to learn so that they can benefit from what the teacher offers.

Parents help children get ready to learn, they make the difference between children who can and cannot benefit from all the teacher offers. They influence their child's readiness to learn.

Parents influence their children's learning in three ways. I call them the '3M's'.

The first 'M' is Modeling.


You are being watched!

Children love you and want to be like you. They watch you do and try to do what you do. What they see you doing has much more influence on their actions than what you tell them to do. You must have heard the saying, "Do what I say, not what I do"? You have probably used it yourself on many occasions. I am sure it was invented by a parent who became exasperated when a child copied the actions of the parent rather than doing the right thing!

The school in which I used to teach was on a busy city road, trucks, buses and cars would hurtle along it and some would even run the lights. It was a very dangerous road and we made sure that all the children knew how to cross it safely. Despite all our careful teaching and warnings of danger, some children would run across the road dodging traffic.

Why did they do this? Because that is what their parents did. Some parents, in a hurry to get home after picking up their child from school, would rush across the road ignoring basic rules of safely. If parents could do this the children felt that they could do it too. What the parent did was much more influential than all the words of warning, the 'Do as I say' that had come from the teachers.

Modeling is the most important way you influence your child's behavior. You can't stop being a model for your child, you are being a model to your child whenever you are together. Just think, whatever you say and do when your child can see or hear you is influencing your child's behavior, is influencing how well your child learns.

The example above shows how poor behavior on your part creates your poor behavior in your child. But the opposite is just as true. When your child sees you behaving in ways that demonstrate good behavior your child will try to behave well too.

So, before you try to tell your child how to behave, check on what you do. Are you sending the right message?

Original by Dr. Patricia Porter

How to make sure your kids never suffer like you did

growing up with my dad, step-mum and siblings have been such an interesting experience, the fights, pranks, foolish jokes and sharing in times of pain and success all together adds to an unforgettable experience for me, but one thing I will never forget in a hurry is the way my parents struggled financially.

this had a tremendous impact in my life as a youngster that I stated devising ways to beat the trend of cashlessness, and believe me, it does pay to take radical steps to change whatsoever you find unpleasant in your life.

to this end, I further decided to post this article to pass to others like me who would like to see their own kids breakout from what may have held them from being productive in life, these areas are basically in
1. Money (and Debt Management)
2. Indiscipline and
3. Managing Relationships

for starters we'll deal with Money, then later with the other two. concerning money, teach your kids the following if they must not suffer like you did while growing up

1. Show Them Unconditional Love - This is to say no matter what your kids do to offend you remember you were once a kid yourself and to build a better foundation for your kids, they need to know what true love is and not the one written on the pages of a novel or movie, but have a real experience so that they can also pass same to their own offspring.

Enjoying your kids

This will be (if not I would have told ya!) the concluding step to being that great father of parent your kids would love.

Having gone through various steps (check the post), what I have for you today is this final step - Learn to enjoy your child or children whichever applies.

Kids are fun to be with. Your ability to learn and commit yourself to spending quality time with them would make a big difference both to them as well as to you.

Think about this, you want your kid's attention but you would rather watch a football game than taking time off to know which game your kid is interested in, or how he or she is faring with school and peer pressure, that my friend, is going to drive a Brooklyn Bridge distance between you and your kid and we do not need that do we?

so, the way out?

I thought I told you, :)

devotedly spend time with your kid, enjoy his or her company, get to know what he or she likes, take time out for a walk, just have fun together, be there when you are needed, share moments.

Kids love attention, that I could tell ya, from my experience with my daughter, she wants daddy to see this and see that!

You owe your kids a great deal, you owe them love - go beyond yourself and give them that love you possibly never enjoyed.

Hope this helps you as much as it helped me,leave a comment would ya?

How to be the Father your kids love - step 3

Are you losing your kid(s) to games, drugs and the likes?

Maybe its just because with the extra loving and instruction you have been giving, there needs to be and addition of this vital step in winning kids and that is our number three today.

Learn to Correct your kid in Love

Irrespective of the behavioral patterns of kids at various stages of their life, LOVE is still the glue that keeps not just families but friends together and that is what we want for you right? yea, kids love to be told how they could do better next time when they mess up - same goes for yours too.

so the key?

1. Never correct your kid when you are angry

2. Avoid making any form of remarks when in that state of anger, why? you might just say something that you may forever regret in life.

3. Never correct without giving a good reason for the correction, why? that kid may just do it all over again,meaning - no message got, no lesson learned.

Discipline is good for kids, especially when in their formative years. I believe kids should be disciplined in a loving manner knowing that it took a hell of a job to get them from conception to delivery. I ain't ready to loose my kid to an act I could control and deal with.

what do you think?

stick around for other steps..

How to be the Father your kids love

Love like many say, is not enough, so to add to giving unconditional love to your kid(s)learn to:

Instruct and teach your kids

Attention is the key for winning kids these days.

you could say I love you and not be around to help form their character and how to handle life, or fold your sleeves and show your love by passing instructions that you will be ready to back up with love.

Like I said earlier, it is either you make a commitment to impart virtues into your kids today for a long standing legacy you’ll be proud of or suffer the consequences which would build over their formative years among many could include; violent behaviors, withdrawn attitudes that depict funny involvements in cults, drugs, pornography or any other social vices, just to mention but a few.

Let this guide you, ‘what you do not teach your kids they will pick from others’ and guess who suffers the shame and pain, yes! Got it like I knew you would – You!

How to be the Father your kids desire

In his world of video games, football, and internet there is very little a man can do when he has lost the attention of his kids, did I say very little a man can do? yes!

If there is anything you can do, it will be looking for how to get the attention of a kid that alread thinks you to be too old fashioned for today and probably too jealous to admit you wished you were they.

Even if you had a way, you will have to be prepared to face a barage of word assaults to get even an iota of attention, so how does this article help, simple, this message is to help you try not to loose your kids attention in the first place, and if you have, this piece would do just fine.

Now for the clues

Learn to Show your kids unconditional love

Yep, learn, as a man you are likely going to be overtaken by ego by trying to always insist things be done your way, because you think you love them. Get a life, there’s no use saying you love someone and all you do is either bully as a form of showing affection or buy fancy presents, jewelries and that’s it. Many kids today like to have their dad say it and mean it.

Why, you ask?
Kids these days can smell a lie from miles away. They can easily tell when you’re faking it, which also would cause them to fake obedience. And if you must be outstanding as a father you must understand this, children need your ‘presence’ and not your ‘presents’

this would lead to our next tip...

Helping Your Kids to Make Money Online

Kids are adorable. Many often hope to have them, some do, others don't. But what actually matters is how to ensure these little "Bennie bunnies" are well taken care of. Now I would love you to give this article a deep thought and ask yourself "do I want to do this?"

when you're done, feel free to let me in on your decision.

Here's the article by - Matthew Bredel

Parents have a huge responsibility in teaching their children about how to succeed in life. From basic discipline to table manners to educational matters, there is so much children and teenagers need to learn that, as parents, it can be easy to neglect certain areas that seem less urgent. However, educating children about how to earn a living and provide for themselves is just one of those lessons you can't afford to neglect.

As tough financial times are upon us, it is more important than ever to help our children find creative ways to bring in income. We don't know where the economy is going to be in ten or twenty years. It's also hard to say what the employment situation will be down the road. But we can guess that the Internet is still going to be booming.

Even during a recession, when the rest of the business world is struggling, online entrepreneurs continue to report surprising success making money online. How can we help our children to tap into this? It could be the answer to their future financial security.

Opportunities for earning money online are seemingly endless. Chances are, your child is already a pro at working the Internet, i.e. playing games, using Facebook or Myspace, researching for school topics. Why not channel that interest and ability into learning about online careers?

Parenting experts agree that identifying your child's skills and helping them to develop them is a great way to connect with your children and maximize their potential. Since most kids and teens are already illustrating skills when it comes to the Internet, it makes since to work with what they have.

If you start now prepping your child's Internet skills and showing her how she can do what she enjoys to make money, the sky's the limit. Imagine what could happen by age 18!

However, perhaps even more exciting than a secure financial future is the chance to do something of importance with your child, developing that all-important bond. This is what quality time is all about.

If you have an online business or even an online business interest, involve your child. Show him the ropes. Include him in on the research, so he can know what you are doing. Let him ask questions. If you think he is interested and ready, give him a small job for which he can be responsible.

Of course, it is important when you are working online that you monitor your child and help him to learn to identify scams and even Internet predators. This in itself is a great skill for any child or teenager to have.

It is exciting to think about the potential that lies within your child. By interacting with her and helping her to determine her strengths and weaknesses, you will not only develop important skills for life but you will also learn more about the person your child is becoming. Whether your child becomes the next big Internet marketer or never really gets past Facebook, you won't regret spending time with him and building skills for life.

To learn more about kids making money online and making money online,

visit TheWebReviewer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Bredel

Kids and the Future

Waoooo! back at last, and I just wanted to say a big I AM SORRY for being gone too long.

Now that done I guess we can now do justice to the topic at hand...

How to Win the Bedtime Wars

Okay, your kids just won't go to bed as told, how about reading something from an expert in this area and try it out, who knows you may just get your desired result this time

Are your children fighting you tooth and nail when it is time for them to go to bed?
Are you pulling your hair out and feel you have no options left?
Learn the simple secrets to restoring peace in your home and regain your sanity.

Things You'll Need:
Self Control
Patience
Persistence

Step 1
First thing that you must acknowledged is that you have to be the one in control, even when the children have seem to all gone mad. You must also know that this is going to take some hard work on your part but if you stick to it, you will have a totally new peaceful environment for everyone involved. You'll have a happier home.

Now, from this point on, you can not lose your temper. Always keep your composure no matter what. When the children see that you are not reacting they will get tired of acting in a demanding, whining, battling rage.

Before we get to what your actually going to do, you need to know that infants and children are different and therefore I will give you directions on how to go about handling each one.

Step 2
We will start with infants who don't want to sleep in their crib. Make a bedtime routine for your infant. Give your baby a bath, rub him/her down with lotion and finally give your baby a bottle or breastfeed before putting him/her down for the night.

Lay your baby down into the crib. Turn the lights out and sit down next to the crib. (Note: be prepared to listen to your baby cry and maybe scream and even say your name several times.) This is the hard part. When your sitting next to the crib, do not look at your baby, even if he/she is calling for you. Stay calm, you are teaching your little one to learn to calm and soothe themselves. This will work if you don't cave in. If you find you can't bear the sound of your baby's cry, wear ear plugs, or listen to an mp3 player.

When your child finally starts to settle down, move about a foot away from the crib, towards the door. Wait for about ten minutes and if there is no reaction from your baby, continue to keep moving a foot closer to the door. When your baby is finally asleep, you can then get up and leave the room.

This whole process will take up to 45 minutes each night. But, if you stay consistent, your child will fall asleep on his/her own without any help from you.

Now, on to your older children. The ones that throw temper tantrums and keep getting out of bed and whatever else they do just to avoid going to bed.

Again, make a bedtime routine, baths, have the last snack of the night and finally read a bedtime story. Take your child to his/her bed, give night time kisses and hugs, and tuck them into bed and tell them goodnight, its time to go to sleep now. Walk out of the room and close the door.If your child gets up out of bed, put your child back into bed and tell them it is time to go to bed and tell them goodnight once again. (Now you'll hear the crying and kicking and screaming.) Stay calm, just ignore this. They will probably tell you they hate you, but don't take that personally. What they really hate is that they know they lost control of you.

If your child gets up again, this time, take him/her back to bed, tuck him/her in and tell them goodnight one last time. Now, the third time your child gets up out of bed, you must stay in control and what I mean by that is you must not show any anger. Keep a straight face, no angry looks, no happy looks, just a blank face. Put your child back into bed, but this time, don't say anything, not a word.

Step 3
You'll continue to do this until your child exhausts him/herself. After about a couple of nights of this, your child will break down, knowing they aren't calling the shots anymore and they will know that bedtime is just that, bedtime.So, in the end, the simple secret formula is you must keep your self control, be persistent with your rules, and have patience because this does work.

Enjoy your peaceful nights!
by sunrizedreamer

...and remeber this, it is not over until you win...have a nice day

How to Keep Kids Excited About Their Chore Chart in Three Easy Steps

Every parent knows the feeling of possibility when they set up a new chore program and the kids get to work. The first days and weeks of a new routine are wonderful: chores get done, kids don't grumble, the household comes together smoothly. More often than not, though, even the best chore programs lose their punch and kids get tired of them. Here are three surefire ways to keep your chore chart exciting and motivational, so that reminding your kids to do their chores doesn't become one of yours.

1) Make the Chart Together
If your kids are involved in the chore program process from the very beginning, they'll be more excited. They will know everything involved right from the get-go, and they'll also feel more powerful and responsible over their own duties and schedule. Consult on chores together, pick rewards and outline consequences with your kids. They'll feel more ownership over their new routine as a result.

2) Create Consequences
To lend your new chore chart maximum impact, make sure there are consequences. There should be a built-in consequence for not doing chores - like the loss of a favorite privilege - but there should also be a reward for staying on top of tasks. Don't forget, reward can be a great motivator. Just make sure you pick a reward that you feel comfortable giving time after time. Rewarding kids at the beginning of a chore program but stopping the practice later won't keep them excited. Great reward ideas: movie outings, allowance, picking one chore a week to skip.

3) Mix It Up
Routine breeds complacency, especially the kind of household routine that kids would rather skip. Instead of dropping a perfectly good and reasonable chore program once interest in it wanes, don't give up quite so easily. Change up your chore chart by shuffling tasks around from child to child, switching the days you expect the tasks to get done and introducing new tasks as your child's level of responsibility grows. Make sure you don't overwhelm your kids: don't introduce five new tasks without taking any away. And, just as you did when you first created your chore charts, include your brood in the process... they'll get that excited feeling all over again.

The easy, fun and customizable chore chart tools at Handipoints.com chore charts help parents and kids "Make Fun of Work!" With Handipoints and HandiLand, the virtual world, just for kids, parents can sit down with their kids to create a fun chore chart, set up rewards and demerits for motivation and easily edit their printable chore charts to keep chores fresh as a breeze!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Kole

Important Points in the Development of Children

Whenever you hear about child development, you are working with an area of psychology. There are different development stages that your child needs to go through, and these are called milestones. This is a good way to actually keep up with the development of your child, and make sure that hey are on track. Missing child development milestones can actually show a development delay in your child. From that point, you would need to find out what was causing the delay, and see if what is causing it can be fixed. Usually, this is a job for a child psychologist.

As your child grows in size, there are certain milestones that should come up. These are known as normal development milestones. Today we are going to cover what these milestones are and what their names are. Not only that, you will get a better idea of what should happen during these milestones. Things that you need to look out for are things that may not happen in time with the other milestones of your baby.

The first milestone is, of course, going to be the gross motor stage. This is where there are large groups of muscles that are going to start acting so that the child can do certain things, like sit, stand, walk, and keep their balance. Some people rate changing positions under this area, but most people just rate that with the other movements. Things that should check your eye would be if your child learns to sit and stand during this stage, but never learns to keep its balance or does not learn to walk or run. These could be signs that some kind of child development milestone was not reached. The next child development milestones would be the language, and then the cognitive. The language is, of course, going to be dealing with speaking, and this also includes body language and gestures. Also, under this category, you are going to find that kids should learn to understand what others are saying. Soon after this would come the thinking skills, further understanding of ideas, and problem solving skills. Also, people have noted that memory also gets sparked during this stage.

When dealing with these child development milestones, usually the social starts last. This is where they learn to actually interact with others. This means actually having relationships with family members and friends, as well as teachers. They should be able to learn how to cooperate when ask to do so and be able to respond to what others are feeling. These are actually complexed milestones that a lot of people do not think about. When they hear about interacting with others, they blow this milestone off, thinking that a baby interacting with your touch and so on is going to show development in this area. However, this kind of milestone is not going to be reached until they are in school with other kids. Learning how to react to others' emotions is not something hat babies can do willingly. That is something to keep in mind.


Kelly Hunter owns and operates http://www.child-development-milestones.com and writes about Child Development Milestones
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kelly_Hunter

Child Custody - Winning the Most Important Battle of Your Life

In order to win your child custody battle you must first put into perspective the whole win/lose mentality of child custody. Obviously, there is a lot of emotion surrounding child custody as it affects the most important thing in your life; your children. But you must also remember that to win anything, even child custody, you must first get your emotions in check.

The number one mistake people make in their child custody battle (and their divorce for that matter) is to react rather than respond to the situation.

Think about it.

When you react, you tend to act impulsively. You act against or are in opposition to something. You're playing defense.

When you respond, you're more measured. You determine a course of action and proceed. You have a plan. You're playing offense.

With emotions running so high in child custody battles, there is a strong tendency to react and follow your emotions.

When you do this, you allow your ex to take control and manipulate the situation to their benefit.

It's hard to build a strong case and win child custody when you're so busy responding to what your ex is doing or consumed with overwhelming emotions.

Guilt over leaving your spouse...

Fear over what your partner may do...

Shame over a failed marriage...

Sadness at having to face the breakup...

Anger at your ex's accusations...

Making any kind of decision when in these emotional states will not help you in the long run, and could seriously hurt your case.

The first step to winning child custody is to step back... take a breath... and realize that you need to have a clear head to make the best decision for you and your children.

Vent to your friends.

Vent to your therapist.

Get it out of your system.

Then work at looking logically at your situation. Move forward with a reasonable and clear plan. Winning child custody is about being prepared and being ahead of the game, not reacting emotionally to things that have already happened.

To get the 9 critical strategies for winning child custody when dealing with irrational, vindictive or abusive ex's, click here: http://www.winning-child-custody-strategies.com

Joan Baker is an expert in child custody after going through her own custody ordeal, researching the laws and now helping other women going through the process.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joan_Baker

Sticks and Stones

At an early age, I discovered the power of words. I can remember running home to my parents crying because the kids in our neighborhood would say hurtful things like, "You are so poor you can't pay attention!" It was true. We were poor, but that fact did not make the taunting any less painful. Unfortunately for me, however, I could pay attention and I paid close attention to the every hurtful word hurled at me. Those cruel words pierced into my soul just as sure as any knife would have.

My parents attempted to make it better by insisting that I retaliate by saying the old school yard comeback, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will not hurt me". As much as I repeated the retort, the power of the cruel words lingered on within me somehow. My parents were right about a lot of things, but they missed the mark big time on this sticks, stones and words. I now know for a fact that sticks and stones may break your bones and words will not only hurt you they can kill you!

According to the book of Proverbs the power of life and death are in the tongue. WOW.... That is truth. I often witness people that I coach or lead in my business as they talk themselves into or out of situations and circumstances. I believe that your success is in your mouth.

I always wanted to own and operate a restaurant. I would use " The 5 yard rule". I would tell anyone that came within 5 yards of me that my business name is Ken's Hot Dog Stand. A couple of years later I was presented an opportunity to purchase 2 McDonald's Franchises.

Words are the most powerful force in the universe. Your words are the power that you have to create. Your word is the gift that comes directly from God. Through the word you manifest your intent, regardless of what language you speak. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are will all be manifested through the words you speak.

The word is a force. It is the power you have to communicate, to think, and to there-by to create the events on your life. Remember, to be Impeccable with your words. If you are interested to hear the entire story of how was able to speak my way to success and wealth or if you are ready to move to the next level and need coaching, visit me at www.KenBrownInternational.com

Ken Brown www.KenBrownInternational.com

About the Author

The Man

Everyone has a story to tell, but few would prove to be as profound and inspirational as that of Mr. Kenneth Brown. Born into impoverished conditions, his teen parents raised him and his siblings, to never exist poor in spirit or drive. Though starting his journey in less than ideal circumstances, his focus and hunger for excellence, has led to monumental personal and professional opportunities. As one of the youngest McDonald's owner

Troubled Teen Alternatives

As we've all seen on daytime talk shows, some parents are at the end of the rope with their teens and just don't know what is left to do in order to help them. Teens in bootcamp can be a controversial topic but I'll attempt to discuss it a little here. These are two types of alternative programs for troubled teens who would otherwise be in jail or another correctional facility. Unfortunately, this is a real life issue, not a talk show, that happens regularly throughout the country. Teens, for numerous reasons, end up on the wrong path and on the way to destroying their lives.

Behaviors that your troubled teen might exhibit include skipping school, violence, lack of respect, stealing, drinking, sneaking out, bringing friends home for long periods of time and sexual behavior in and out of the home. The FBI reports that teenage crime has been on the rise for the past year.

Boot camps are an alternative to jail for these adolescents. There are also many different kinds of camps ranging from state to private. While we think of boot camp as a physical challenge, it is also a mental challenge. These camps are usually short-term but the long-term camps has increased recently. They're modeled after the military in that they pose mental and physical challenges as well as teach respect and responsibility. The whole point behind boot camps is to give teens a "reality check".

Boot camps can include uniforms, marching in formation and "yes sir" "no sir" way of thinking. Baracks are also similar to those in the military with bunk beds, foot lockers and regular inspections. Parents need to consider if their teen can handle this environment before sending them to a boot camp and drill instructors.

These camps seem to be more of a short-term solution. Studies have found that recidivism rates for long-term camps are high and not good for long-term change. Also, as we all know, boot camps are controversial in that they have been questioned about their health and safety practices. While drill instructors have success with voluntary military cadets, many use this same technique on teens and it becomes a questionable situation.

These camps teach juveniles valuable life skills that they are lacking. They can be a good alternative for improving self esteem. Let's face it: kids aren't bad. They didn't choose this lifestyle with intent of being a troubled teen. They simply gave in to peer pressure or some other reason.

Another option for troubled teens is military school, like West Point. They're usually privately owned and operated. Studies have found, however, that these schools are less likely to be successful for troubled teens. These schools are NOT designed to improve those who are not motivated, who are defiant and academically challenged.

Military schools are also not designed to help teens in crisis. These schools seem to only apply to a small niche of our society. Plus, tuition is as much as $20,000 a year. These schools are nothing like secondary schools. Secondary schools place a heavy focus on education. Military schools focus on education, sense of community, respect, honesty, self-esteem and hard work. These schools also do not provide emotional problems.

So there you have it. My take on Juvenile Boot Camps vs. Military School. In short, boot camps serve a short term purpose for troubled teens while military school serves a good purpose for those teens who are motivated and willing to be a part of the school.

Please note: before you enter your child in any type of correctional program please consult a professional to help point you in the right direction. Every individual is different so every type of treatment will be different.

I've been writing all of my life and have a career as a ghostwriter. Writing is my passion and always has been. I've also won some awards for my writing including "Best Creative Content Writer" in 2001.

Article Source: Dakota_Blue

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

This is for those of you who are having a tough time with your kids.

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for the past 12 years I have noticed that there are just a few primary struggles that most adults face. I also see how better training as a child and teen could have given them the skills and attitudes that would have prevented the problems that they now face.

The primary areas adults struggle with are

1. Money, primarily debt.
2. Lack of disciple, or the inability to do what they want to do, be it weight, money, work etc.
3. Relationships.

As I see it, much of the way we live our lives is groomed as we grow up. And
while we can certainly change, it is harder to do the older we get. This can cut both ways: If we
are taught correctly we have a high chance of succeeding as adults and if we are taught poorly,
there is a high chance that we will continue those poor habits into adulthood and face many
difficulties.

The good news? We can put our kids on the fast track to success by diligently applying some basic success skills. To get you started, I’ve brainstormed some ways you can head off your children’s problems years before they face them. Here we go!



To have successful relationships:

Show them unconditional love.
No matter what, we are to welcome and love our children. This does not mean that we won’t get mad at them from time to time or that we won’t discipline them when they cross the line. It means that we will always accept them and treat them with the respect they deserve as human beings, no matter what they have done. It means we do not hold grudges against them. We can disagree or even verbally tangle, but then we bury the hatchet and accept one another.

Teach them manners.
There are acceptable ways of behaving. Unfortunately, many people today do not know them! Teach your children how to behave so that others are treated well and do not have to put up with our misbehavior. Why? Because they won’t put up with it anyway. Many people will simply write you off and never tell you why.

Help them learn to forgive.
Most of the relationship problems I work with boil down to this: The people simply will not forgive one another and continue to hold past wrongs against the other person. Here is the fact, and you have to teach this to your kids: People will wrong you. It is what we do with that and how we react that will determine the health of the relationship in the future.

Help them to be able to focus on and serve others.
Many parents make their kid feel like they are the center of the universe. One problem with this: They aren’t! The world doesn’t revolve around your kids and they can’t get their way all of the time. What happens later on in life when little Johnny (who was the center of the universe growing up) marries little Suzie (The center of another universe growing up)? You got it, problems! Now they have to share a universe! Instead we should teach our children to help others. We should teach them to consider other people’s interests as more important than our own.



To have successful finances:

Make them EARN money.
Sure you can give your kids money – we do. But we should also teach them to earn money. We should give them opportunity to earn money. I don’t think a kid should get an allowance for doing chores. Chores are the responsibility of being part of the family. But you can give them extra jobs so they can understand fully the hard work they put in and appreciate the value of the money they receive. This will cause them to handle it better.

Have them give money away.
Greed works its wonders on some of the nicest people. That is what I have found. And the best way to break greed is to give money away. Our children give away 10% of every dollar they get. This builds generosity into their hearts. We have been doing it so long that it is just a part of them. How can you be greedy about something you are giving away? And when you give it away you can see the good that it does to the people and organizations you help. (One side story: When my son was younger and got one dollar a week in allowance he would give a dime away. He suggested it would be a good thing if he started getting two dollars – because then he would be able to give two dimes away. I don’t know if he was being generous or shrewd!)

Teach them about investing.
Yesterday I sat in the car explaining the law of supply and demand with my ten year old. Now he knows what something is “worth.” Now he knows why Beanie Babies are so expensive but a very efficient way of separating poor investors from their money. My kids hear about the old guns and butter theory (Guns represent items that appreciate and butter represents the things that melt away. Invest in appreciating assets and you can have all the butter you want later on. Invest in butter and you won’t ever have the guns.) These are basic principles that will allow your kids to be financially secure and not strapped later on. They will be the lender and not the borrower.

Teach them to delay self-gratification.
I touched on this in the last point. If we teach our kids to delay gratification, they can put themselves into a financial position wherein they can actually afford the item they want rather than put themselves into debt or a precarious position to get it. Besides, half the time when they wait, they don’t want it in three weeks!

Teach them to never have any debt!
No debt. Never. Period. Nada. Never, ever, ever. Pay cash or wait. Okay, did I get that through? Now let me be a little more temperate. Debt has created more problems I have dealt with than just about any other issue. Marriage problems, emotional problems, work problems, spiritual problems, and physical problems. We should engrain it into our kid’s heads that the only acceptable debt is a home mortgage and they should be conservative with that and even pay cash if they can! I hear you, “But I can’t get the car I want!” Too bad! See the guns and butter theory above! Your kids will visit your grave every week with flowers after you are gone if you love them and teach them to avoid debt.



To help them be successful in discipline:

Have them do certain tasks/chores on a regularly scheduled basis.
Discipline is, well, a discipline. Teach your kids to make their beds every morning. Or do wash every Monday. Or mow the lawn every Saturday morning. Building schedules builds disciplined people who do not procrastinate, who are methodical and who are diligent. These are the people who succeed.

Let them experience discipline and consequences.
Consequences are the greatest teachers! Many people who I see fail are people who have never suffered consequences. I know a gentleman who couldn’t hold a job. His employers were going to fire him. He was always late and couldn’t be relied upon – even by his friends. You never knew if he was telling the truth. One day I was talking to him and he said that he had never been punished or disciplined! The light went on! I finally understood. You know the old saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child?” I say, spare the rod and you’ll raise a criminal! You may not want to let little Johnny experience the pain of consequences, but his boss will let him feel it 20 years from now! Prepare him for success now by making him realize that if he doesn’t do what is right, he will spend a lot of time in his room or he will miss out special things. He will grow up to be the most relied upon person in his office and he’ll be the boss one day.

Don’t protect them from losing.
I coached little league football one year. It just so happens we were the youngest team in the league and we were terrible. One game we were getting beat 55-0 with about five minutes to play and I was getting screamed at by an irate parent. I turned to them and said, “You know. I learned some of my best lessons in 55-0 losses. I took a few of them in my athletic career, and I handed a few out too!” Sometimes we win in life, sometimes we lose. We need to learn what it feels like to lose and then get right back out there. It will prepare your kids much better to lose until they win legitimately than to win all the time. I remember one basketball game when I was on my way to about thirty points and a parent from the other team was screaming about it. My brother, who is 13 years older than me told the guy to sit down because I had earned all those point because of how many basketball thrashings I had taken at his hands through the years. Losing made me better!

Teach them to eat right and exercise.
Many people struggle with their weight and it is usually because we learned bad habits as kids. We weren’t that overweight when we were younger but as our metabolism slows it catches up with us. Teach your kids basic nutritional information. Teach them how Candy bars plus milk shakes plus no exercise equals trouble! When we go to the health club our kids can swim and play all they want in the pool – as soon as they finish their laps!

Teach them to make tough decisions and learn to say “no.”
The most powerful word in the world! We should teach our children to understand what is the most important – their priorities – and say “no” to everything else. So many people get themselves into trouble and overextended because they do not have the discipline to say “no.” The reality is that you will act on an agenda – either yours or someone else’s. Saying “no” enables you to stay on track. Teach them to make tough decisions because it is what is right or because it will be better in the long run, rather than on how it will make them feel.

Encourage them to risk failure and try new things.
I have met so many people who were always taught to play it safe. And guess what? They are playing it safe, leading, as the quote says, “Lives of quiet desperation.” Teach your kids to try new things and give them the opportunity to do so. Help them see the bigger picture when they fail, like what they can learn from the situation so they can win the next time. It is the people who risk failure and try new things who change the world and lead the lives they want to!

Pitch the TV.
Okay, my soapbox: Get rid of the television. If you have to have the one-eyed monster in the house just get a monitor so you can watch videos from time to time. I haven’t had a TV for 12 years – and I LOVE IT! My kids are healthy, sociable, well-adjusted, smart kids. They have creative imaginations because they have to picture everything themselves rather than rely on someone else’s interpretation. They read many grade levels above where they are. They have time to do all sorts of things that they want to because they have an extra 20 hours a week (1040 hours a year) that other kids their age don’t! Someday I am going to write a book on benefits and reasons to get rid of the TV because the fact is you will be much better off without it than you are with it! And so will your kids!


Chris Widener is a popular speaker and author who has shared the podium with US Presidents, helping individuals and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and achieve their dreams. Join subscribers in over 100 countries for a weekly leadership & success eZine by clicking here. Enjoy motivational audio programs from Chris Widener & other top speakers including Zig Ziglar & Brian Tracy by visiting www.MadeForSuccess.net.

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